Life is bittersweet. There are days that are full of joy, confetti, and celebration, and then there are days that leave me feeling empty and insignificant. I am learning how to take deep breaths and be patient, how to be okay with not being okay, and to live from a place of brokenness and vulnerability.
I am holding tightly to the promise in Phillipians 1:6, "that he who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion." I am a work in progress, and that's okay. That's the beauty of grace, isn't it? We don't have to be perfect or good enough, because Jesus already paid the price for our past, present, and future sins.
I'm currently in the land in between. Life is good, really good actually, but that doesn't always transfer over to my emotions. I want time to slow down, but I desperately want time to fast forward. I'm constantly ready for what's next, thinking that it's going to be better. That's not a healthy place to live, because I'll end up just wishing away the days and not appreciating all the good that is right in front of me.
So in this weird season of impending change, I am learning some things. I am learning to be confident in myself, because I am loved without fault. I am learning to look past the pain of the moment, because I know it doesn't end here. I am learning how to wait patiently, to sit in the seemingly uncomfortable lack of forward motion. I am learning how to be joyful in all circumstances, not just in the ones that are easy to be full of joy.
I have made a list, goals of sorts, of what I am committed to DO and NOT do during this season.
Things I do:
I am holding tightly to the promise in Phillipians 1:6, "that he who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion." I am a work in progress, and that's okay. That's the beauty of grace, isn't it? We don't have to be perfect or good enough, because Jesus already paid the price for our past, present, and future sins.
I'm currently in the land in between. Life is good, really good actually, but that doesn't always transfer over to my emotions. I want time to slow down, but I desperately want time to fast forward. I'm constantly ready for what's next, thinking that it's going to be better. That's not a healthy place to live, because I'll end up just wishing away the days and not appreciating all the good that is right in front of me.
So in this weird season of impending change, I am learning some things. I am learning to be confident in myself, because I am loved without fault. I am learning to look past the pain of the moment, because I know it doesn't end here. I am learning how to wait patiently, to sit in the seemingly uncomfortable lack of forward motion. I am learning how to be joyful in all circumstances, not just in the ones that are easy to be full of joy.
I have made a list, goals of sorts, of what I am committed to DO and NOT do during this season.
Things I do:
- journal. I will record the good and the bad, the beautiful and the broken parts of my life. It is here that I discover more about who I am, the specific purpose God has for me, and see evidence that God is actively working on my behalf.
- do something significant. I don't want to waste my life away. God did not give me talents and abilities for my own benefit, but for the benefit of others. Whether I am getting a paycheck or simply intrinsic value from volunteering, I choose to be a part of something significant.
- get involved in the local church. The local church is the hope of the world. It is the tool that God has given us to not only connect with him, but to invite others to connect with him. I always want to be a part of creating an environment that people can safely explore who God is, where no question is a bad question, and where brokenness is accepted and okay.
- spend time with people who bring out the best in me. As an extrovert, there are a lot of people in my life. I constantly surround myself with people. I'm learning that rather than having a large quantity of people, its better to have a quality few. People who love me despite the messiness, and who challenge me to become a better version of myself, that's who I want to be around.
- complain. It's far too easy for me to complain both in my head and out loud about things that don't even matter. The words from my mouth tend to reveal what's in my heart. If I want to change what's in there, I'm going to start with the things that come out of my mouth.
- feel sorry for myself. I am highly competitive, which is both a blessing and a curse. It helps me to value excellence and strive for the best. However, this quality causes me to be rooted in comparison. I constantly compare myself to others and become disappointed when others are at a life stage that I am not. I am choosing to be thankful for the specific story that God is writing in my life, even if it's different than everyone else.